Relating Together

Characteristics of A Healthy Person

Having a common frame of reference is certainly a good place to start on journey of knowing each other.  Here is one perspective.

  • They accept themselves fully, even while wanting to change parts of themselves, there is a basic self-love and self-regard, which is carefully nurtured and purposely expanded.
     

  • They accept others as they are without trying to change others to meet their needs.
     

  • They are in touch with their feelings and attitudes about every aspect of their life, including their sexuality.
     

  • They cherish every aspect of themselves: Their personality, their appearance, their beliefs and values, their body, their interests and accomplishments. They validate self, rather than search for a relationship to give a sense of self worth.
     

  • Their self-esteem is great enough that they can enjoy being with others, especially with some one in a romantic relationship, and that the other is fine just as they are. They do not need to be needed in order to feel worthy.
     

  • They allow themselves to be open and trusting with appropriate people. They are not afraid to be known at a deeply personal level, but they also do not expose themselves to the exploitation of those who are not interested in their well-being.
     

  • They question, "Is this relationship good for me? Does it enable me to grow into all I am capable of being? How do I feel about me when Iím with them?"
     

  • When a relationship is destructive, they are able to let go of it without experiencing disabling depression. They have a circle of supportive friends and healthy interests to see them through crises.
     

  • They value their own serenity above all else. All the struggles, drama, and chaos of the past has lost its appeal. They are protective of self, their health, and well-being.
     

  • They know that a relationship, in order to work, must be between partners who
    share similar values, interests, and goals and who each have capacity for intimacy. They also know that they are worthy of the best that life has to offer.

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  Charlene Crilley,

  Marriage and Family
  Therapist
  619.284.9808

  Relating Together

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